


i’m afraid that’s just the way the world works

by azulaacelesbian



Series: song fics [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Based on a Conan Gray Song, Bisexual Mai, Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), F/F, Gen, Jetko, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Lesbian Ty Lee (Avatar), M/M, Mailee - Freeform, Maizula - Freeform, Polyamory, The Story, Toph Beifong & Zuko Friendship, Toph runs away, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, do not read if suicide or death is a trigger, i don’t know how to tag, its pretty much zuko being angsty, mai and Azula both die, maizulee, not completely though, some canon tie ins, time and place are not specified, tyzula - Freeform, very light past maiko, zuko wants to but wimps out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27996105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azulaacelesbian/pseuds/azulaacelesbian
Summary: and the movie’s always playing in my headall the people all my lovers all my friendsor; zuko reflects on his life stories
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Mai/Ty Lee, Jet & Zuko (Avatar), Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko, Ty Lee & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: song fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050494
Kudos: 12





	i’m afraid that’s just the way the world works

**Author's Note:**

> hey!!! This is a one-shot I did inspired by Conan Gray, because I love him lol. It’s...kind of upsetting, and possibly a little triggering for some, so don’t read if death/suicide is a trigger for you. I worked really hard on this so leave a kudo and or comment!

Zuko had a lot of stories to be told. Most of them were sad tales about lost friends and forgotten faces, but they all struck the listeners in the heart.

He didn’t like sympathy, but he got a lot of it after telling his stories. It was always kind of awkward- what do you say after someone tells you their sister and ex girlfriend died the same night?

“I want to tell you a story,” he’d say, and people would listen, expecting dragons and adventures, not suicides and car crashes.

His sister was sick. Not the physical, bed ridden sick, but sick in the brain. Sick enough some days she wouldn’t get out of bed for hours because all she could see was her mother, yelling at her from the doorway. She didn’t talk about it. Azula just continued in life, pretending one day it would go away.

Azula’s lovers were the only people who knew, besides Zuko himself. Though he’d always suspected she’d watered it down while telling Ty Lee and Mai, he didn’t get confirmation until the funeral.

The day they died, Zuko was working late as usual. He didn’t know that Azula was on the roof or that Mai was in a malfunctioning car.

He got the call about Azula first. Zuko barely had time to process before the call that his ex girlfriend and his sister’s current- past? girlfriend had died, too.

The funeral was small- just Zuko, Ty Lee, Mai’s family, and a few others he did not know.

“What am I supposed to do?” Ty Lee wondered out loud to him, tears dripping from her eyes. “I had two people to love, and now I’m down to none.”

Zuko stood in silence, not sure what to tell her.

“I don’t know, Ty Lee. But I know you, and I know you’ll figure it out.”

She sniffled. “I could’ve stopped it, you know. I should’ve done something.”

He shook his head. “There’s nothing you could do, you couldn’t control Azula. How could you have stopped it?”

“She should’ve told me more, or I should’ve noticed something was off. I didn’t do enough for her.” Ty Lee’s shaky voice hurt Zuko, reminding him of Azula when she’d first admitted to him something was wrong.

“If Azula didn’t tell you everything, how were you supposed to know? She’s- she was- incredibly good at hiding it.”

“We were dating, Zuko. We loved her. I should’ve seen something. And even if I couldn’t, Mai! I should’ve given her a ride. I knew she needed to go somewhere but I just let her go on her own.”

“If anything, Mai’s death is my fault. I’m the last one who used her car, remember? It should’ve been me.” Zuko snapped, rubbing his eyes.

“Zuko...” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m...sorry.”

They didn’t speak for the rest of the funeral, instead choosing to keep the rest of their thoughts to themselves.

But Zuko couldn’t stop wondering what the breaking point was, wondering why she didn’t say goodbye. His own sister was gone, and the last words she’d said to him were...God, he couldn’t even remember.

Mai...Zuko was over Mai, and they’d remained close friends. But there was a history, and he couldn’t stop thinking of the first kiss, first date, first breakup...but he also remembered their friendship.

Now, all they were was headstones on a lawn.  
-

Not too long before Azula and Mai had died, Zuko had been far away from home. Working in a tea shop, with a fake name and fake identity.

This story was a love story, he would always say. A messed up love that never would’ve worked, but that’s what it was.

Zuko was younger when he met Jet- he was 18 years old, hiding from his past. The boy was his age too, and they felt drawn to each other.

He wasn’t great at expressing his feelings, but neither was Zuko. But they trusted each other, and that was obvious.

Jet told him things, secrets about his travels to get to the city. Zuko told him things too, but it wasn’t Zuko. It was Lee, and he would forever regret that.

“My parents are dead. Dead because of Ozai Sozin. I’ll kill him if I get the chance.” Jet had told him drunkenly.

“He took my mother. It’s his fault she left us.” Zuko responded. “I don’t think I could kill him, though. I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that.”

“Everyone is strong enough to kill someone. Just depends on if you really want to. Not just surface level, deep inside.”

Jet and Zuko had this…unspoken tension, and Zuko never knew exactly how to deal with it. When he’d finally realized what it meant, it was too late.

Jet was leaving-he was walking towards the city limits, looking for transport, when Zuko found him.

“Jet, I have something to tell you.” He said, keeping the shaking out of his breath.

“Your father killed my parents, is that it?” Jet asked, facing him, cigarette resting in his mouth.

Zuko stepped back. “What?”

“I know now, Lee. I saw the seal of Ozai on that letter in your mailbox. I know your real name is Zuko,” Jet stalked closer to him. “And I know that you’ve been lying to me.”

“Jet, I don’t know what to say.” Zuko began, but Jet interrupted once more.

“And to think I had feelings for you.”

“You what?”

“I think, somehow, I still do.”

With those final words spoken, Jet took off. Zuko never saw him again.

He later learned he’d been killed- by Ozai’s followers, just as his parents were. Zuko wasn’t sure if he’d be proud going down that way or maddened.

Jet had a hold on him- he spent weeks wondering what could’ve been. It felt maddening, knowing Jet was out there- hating Zuko, but still holding onto the comfortable feeling of loving him.

Or maybe that was Zuko himself. He tried to make himself angry- he really did. Yet he never could. Even after he moved in with Azula, he still thought about what could’ve been.

Maybe if he’d ran away sooner, he wouldn’t have lied or made things up to cover up who he was.

-

He was 16 when he first wanted to run away, sneaking into his neighbors backyard to talk to his best friend about shitty parents and blind eyes.

She was 14, but her parents never let her leave the house. Zuko would tell her jokes and bring her things she’d never tried before, giving her food and gifts and telling stories about the ducks in the backyard pond.

Toph was like another little sister, one who wasn’t manipulated by their father to cut off Zuko. Of course, years later that changed and Azula were on good terms, but in the past they had a terrible feud.

Zuko liked telling this story- he liked talking about Toph, because it had been so long since they’d seen each other. The ending was bittersweet, but he knew it wasn’t really the end.

One day Toph had enough of her parents and stormed to Zuko.

“I’m leaving.” She’d told him, crossing her arms. “I’m leaving and I’m never coming back.”

“What happened?” Zuko had said, not believing it for one second. 

Toph grunted and grabbed Zuko’s arm as he’d guided them to a bench. “The usual stuff. I was prepared to go to bed at LEAST just a little annoyed, until he fires my favorite tutors. The only classes I enjoy. No more hung gar*, no more earth science. I’m done.” 

Zuko knew Toph better than that- he knew she loved her tutors and those classes, but that couldn’t be the only reason. She was just going to leave...because she wanted to. 

And honestly? Zuko did too. But he was scared. 

“Fine, let’s run away then.” He’d said. 

“Wait, you mean it? We’re for real running away?”

“Look, I bet the both of us don’t make it out of here. But we don't have anything holding us at our homes, so why not? Let’s go.”

Toph laughed, a rare but welcomed sound. “I take those odds, Sparky. Let’s run away.”

Many nights were spent planning the escape, sneaking out the window to meet and find a route to the inner city. In a few days, they were all ready to go.

Toph had climbed out her window when the barking started. Zuko climbed down quick and caught up to Toph, hissing, “When did you get guard dogs?”

“I don’t know!”

They ran through the yard quick- the dogs were gaining on them, and they didn’t want to be caught.

But when the street approached, Zuko stopped. He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for this, or any of it. 

Toph kept running, but Zuko stayed with his feet planted in the ground. “Zuko!” She’d turned around and hissed, bouncing on the soles of her bare feet. “Zuko, what are you doing?”

An obvious regret was painted on Zuko’s face as he waved goodbye to Toph. “Go, Toph.”

“No,” she said, voice cracking. “No, not without you! We’re like siblings, remember? We gotta stick together.”

“You’re strong and independent, you can do this on your own.” He backed up, and the dogs started to approach Toph again. “I was right, remember? Told you only one of us would make it out.”

And then he ran towards the house, holding back the growing tears in his eyes. When he reached his room, Toph was gone.

Years have gone by, but he still wonders where she’s at. Part of him wonders if she died, too, but he has no proof either way.

Life is not pretty to Zuko. It isn’t sweet. But he lives it everyday so he isn’t someone else’s broken story. 

It’s not the end of the story yet.

**Author's Note:**

> *it’s the martial arts earth bending is inspired by :)


End file.
